jeremy crawford

aka: "JerCraw"

STARTUP KING . Chapter Eight (Comeback)



As you read earlier in Chapter 3 – I walked back to my car that afternoon and drove home. I filmed that entire experience that day. I told my wife what had happened, and she booked us in with a Psychologist the very next day. This was when some of the best healing began.

I was in counseling for a few weeks, and the end of the year was coming to a close. It was almost Christmas, and I was starting to look ahead. I was beginning to dream a little — just a small dream. Nothing crazy, but for the first time in many months, I was feeling hopeful. During the lawsuit, I had spent so much time in bed, just sleeping the days and months away. Eating unhealthy food, and climbing up to the heaviest weight of my life – 283 lbs. It was embarrassing, and I had felt so disgusted with myself. I hated looking in the mirror. I had let myself go. So it was time to put the most important things on the table, and the first thing was my health. I was working hard on my mental health, but the rest of my body needed attention. So I decided that after the holidays I was going to plug into the system that I had found, and lose the weight. 

I set a massive goal. The goal was to lose 80lbs. So I started my journey and plugged into an incredible program and system put together by the company Isagenix. It was an easy system for me to follow, and I started to see results right away – within my first week. The biggest part of me having success with my weight loss journey was I had “Made The Decision”. This is everything — the Mindset. Mindset is everything in life, especially when you want to make a Comeback. I wanted my Comeback story, and I wanted it so bad! This held my feet to the fire, and I worked through my commitments with absolute conviction for what I wanted as a result.

I started to reprogram my mind by reading personal development books again and listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos. I started to follow business leaders that had similar stories of starting and failing, then coming back. I started to study the specific habits and daily rituals of the absolute best of the best. There was so much consistency there with daily habits. They lived such an intentional life. Every day counted. Time was the most precious commodity. I started to get healthier in my mind, but it wasn’t easy. I began to get up early in the morning. At first, I joined the 6 AM Club. Then it was the 5 AM Club. Then the 4 AM Club. 

I would spend two hours plus working on my mental health. Reprogramming my mind daily. Reading the Bible, the Word of God, my Creator. I read the entire Bible that year, following a Bible in a Year reading plan. Then my daily devotional using the YouVersion app. Thank you so much @YouVersion for building that app – it has been so powerful in this comeback journey.

I would read a few chapters of a book, and then take that focus and power into my meditation. I would start to create the future in my mind. I could see it. I could literally walk into it in my mind. 

As the great Napoleon Hill quotes, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

I started to focus on Gratitude. I was giving thanks for all the Blessings in my life. Focused on what I had, not what I had lost, or what had been stolen from me. I was so blessed and still had so much more than most people in the world. So give thanks. 

*Even right now, while you’re reading this book, just take a moment and look around at your life. Look at all the amazing things you have been blessed with. 

#GiveThanks #Blessed #Thankful

Growing up in an old $22,000 farmhouse in a small farm town in northern Alberta created the dreamer in me. Yes – I am Guilty! Guilty of being a Dreamer. A Big Dreamer!!! I never seem to think small, or dream small, it’s always Big! So guilty of Dreaming Big leads to Trying Big. So as I started to dream again, the dream started to get Bigger and Bigger. As I started to shed the pounds and train – I was getting confident again. I was starting to believe in myself again. Health became a large part of my life that year, and it was at the center of everything I was doing. 

One of my best friends of over 17 years, Steve Kehler, came around me during this time and started to encourage me to start working on a Big Idea I had. I only had two friends who would check on me regularly during this time – it was Tim and Steve. Tim Lebsack was my High School Bros who graduated with me. Tim and Steve are true, loyal friends. They would send me a simple text message like “Hows Jer?”, or just call to check on me. Many times I wouldn’t answer the phone because when you’re fighting depression, you 

don’t like to talk much, especially on the phone. They were consistent – never giving up on me. Thank you, Tim and Steve! You guys have no idea how much that meant to me during those dark months.

So Steve called me one afternoon while I was lying in bed, and I will never forget the call. It was like it happened yesterday. He said, “Jer, you need to get this healthcare app idea going! I have been thinking about it a lot, and it will be Huge! What do you need to do to get this thing going? I want to help you.” What do I need to do? Everything…but the first thing is to really believe in the idea 100%, and believe I can truly take it all the way to the finish line. Could I really do this? My Dad isn’t a Doctor. My Mom isn’t a Nurse. I have no business being in the healthcare business. Why me? All these thoughts were racing through my mind while I was lying there, staring at the ceiling in my bedroom. Could this be my Comeback Story?

The next step for me was to make the decision. You have to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you can do it. You can’t do it until you believe 100%, and until you go All-In! This requires an Absolute Decision. An Absolute Commitment to start and never ever quit. No matter how hard the road gets, you don’t give up. You don’t quit. So it was decision time. Was I really in? Was this what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? I knew this calling wasn’t a get in and get rich and get out project. This was going to be a very long road, a legacy project. I started to really pray about it in my morning prayer time. I started to listen for God’s voice in this. I wanted Him to make it perfectly clear this was what He wanted for my life. I got nothing. I started going on long bike rides, training harder and harder. I was looking for a sign, listening for His voice. When was the time to get this project going? When do You want me to start this God? 

You see, I had a very personal story tied to healthcare, specifically healthcare in the US. This idea came from a very personal medical experience just two years before this with a Hernia surgery. I had a very painful Inguinal Hernia while I was in Arizona, getting ready for the launch of KULT back in 2015. I wanted it fixed and fixed quickly. So I went into a local surgeon in Chandler, AZ, and met with him on a Tuesday morning, and by Thursday afternoon, I was heading into the operating room. I had negotiated all the surgical pricing upfront, so I knew exactly what I was paying before I went in for my surgery. I later discovered this is not the case for most Americans in the US. 

My surgery was around $5,800.00 USD cash price as a self-pay patient. As I was checking in for my surgery appointment and going through all the paperwork, I came to the last page, and there was a very different price. That price was $47,000.00! I was like – What? Wait! We can’t do this! The lady checking me in explained it was ok, my pricing was already negotiated with a cash price so I was only paying the $5,800.00. I asked her what the $47K price was for? She explained that was the amount they charge the insurance companies. This made no sense to me. How the hell was a Canadian getting a better deal, my cash price of $5,800.00, but an American, the Insurance Companies would pay over 8X for the same surgery. I wanted to know more. So on my road to recovery I started to dig, and dig deep. I won’t let you in on that story yet, because we are right in the middle of our launch right now. This will be another book I will write in the near future.

So this very personal experience put me on this path to build a healthcare marketplace where people who don’t have health insurance or can’t afford their deductibles can find cheaper, cost-effective medical services, and health and wellness products. This was going to be my Big Comeback story! But when was this going to get going? How was I going to get this thing off the ground? I had so many questions. When was it going to be time to do this? I felt like it was never going to happen.

The 4-Way STOP

I was on my way back home from my long ride on an August Saturday afternoon. It was the perfect day. Not too hot, and not too cold. I rode out to Bragg Creek from Calgary and was coming back into the city off Highway 8. I made a turn onto 101 Street and pulled over at the top of the hill by the cell tower to rest and grab a drink. I was watching the cars drive by, and then I was ready to get back on the road. I looked to my left before I pulled out onto the shoulder to see if there was a vehicle coming, and there was. It was a white BMW X5. I looked over to make eye contact with the driver to make sure they could see me, and she was looking down at her phone in her hand. I remember how pissed I was that she didn’t see me. This is how cyclists get hit all the time by distracted drivers. I personally have had so many close calls – including being swiped a couple times. So I pressed on. 

The music was cranking and I was on my last few miles of the trip. I looked ahead towards the 4-Way Stop intersection at Lower Springbank Road where drivers run those Stop signs all the time. A pick up truck had just passed me with a cargo trailer and was blocking my view. I noticed all the cars were stopped on the left, straight ahead and the truck and trailer were pulling off to the side. As I got closer I could see some parts on the road that looked like part of a motorcycle and the driver and passenger of the truck with the trailer got out and were running towards the intersection. My heart started pounding. What the hell was going on? 

As I got to the intersection I saw half a motorcycle off to my left, and the other parts of the bike scattered all over. I then looked over to the northeast corner of the intersection and there was a man laying on the edge of the road. Someone was doing CPR and other drivers were getting out calling 911 and trying to figure out what happened. I then looked just past the intersection, just north of where this man was laying on the road and I saw the white BMW X5. Fuck!!! No way!!! Was this the vehicle that hit the bike? I grabbed my iPhone and started filming on Instagram stories asking my friends and followers to pray. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but it was clear this biker was hit and was fighting for his life. This started to hit me very hard. There was no movement from the biker. He wasn’t responding at all. Was he gone?

I moved to the other corner of the intersection, where I would have to cross to continue home. There were still no first responders, and this wasn’t looking good. Some of the drivers were coming up to me and asking me what happened, but all I could explain is what I saw, and how the BMW didn’t see me when she drove past. What really pissed me off was the driver of the BMW wouldn’t even get out of her vehicle. My emotions were starting to take over. I put my head down into my arms and began to pray, and I was crying hard. My eyes were burning from the sweat and the tears. I think I just saw a man lose his life in front of me.

I made it home that afternoon, but not Mark. At this point, I still didn’t know his name. I got home and jumped in the shower and the tears kept coming down. This was someone’s Son, maybe someone’s Husband, maybe a Dad? All I could think about was who is this? I came downstairs and started googling, started searching Facebook, but nothing yet. Then it began to show up on the media’s Facebook page, but no name. I was a mess. I couldn’t focus on anything else. I had to find out who this was. 

The next morning I jumped on my bike and rode back to the intersection. There was a Jeep parked over on the side where Mark was lying on the road. I wanted to walk up to them and ask them if they knew who this was? I could see they were really upset, and I wanted to be respectful, so I turned around and started riding back home. When I got home, I jumped back on Facebook and decided to check out the Calgary Police page and see if there was anything up there about this accident. There was. I started to read down through the comments and noticed someone was asking if there were any witnesses from the scene that day to comment. I sent this person a private message and explained how I was there, and I had some video. He asked if I would send the video to him, and of course, I agreed. I sent the video files right away. He told me this was one of his best friends and shared his name with me. I immediately went to Mark’s Facebook page and started to look at his photos. It was a waterfall out of my eyes. I couldn’t stop crying. Then I saw pictures of this young lady with him, and it was his wife. He asked me to respect the privacy of Mark’s wife and not message her. I agreed. This was shaking me to my core. Now that I saw who Mark was, it became so much more real.

The next day I was checking my Facebook, and I had a message from a name I didn’t recognize. It was Mark’s wife. She sent me a message thanking me for sending the video and shared some of her personal story with me. I explained to her how Mark’s death was affecting me. Over the next couple of days, she messaged me a few more times and extended an invitation to attend Mark’s funeral the following week. I told her I was going to do a long ride the following weekend to honor Mark and his life. Olya told me Mark was Irish, so I went to the flag store in Calgary and purchased a small Irish flag and put it on my bike for my ride. The next weekend I pushed so hard on my long ride. All I could think was I had this day, and Mark didn’t. No excuses – I was going to push hard and train hard. I was given this life and I was going to make it my best. Life became so fragile to me in those days. 

On that ride I could feel something happening. It was almost like Mark was speaking to me. No more excuses in life. Mark didn’t get tomorrow, so it was time for me to go. It was time for me to start my new company. I knew this was it. This was the signal. 

No more holding back. No more fear. Let’s Go!

As I was approaching the intersection that afternoon on my way home, I saw a bunch of Bikes and Bikers. The tears started to come down my cheeks. I knew this had to be Mark’s friends. I got to the intersection, and Mark’s wife came running up to me and gave me a big hug. We just held each other and cried together. She thanked me for doing that ride for Mark. I told her I would be at the funeral, and it meant so much to me that she wanted me there. She told me it would be good for me, and hopefully, it would help me heal. I told her she could call me anytime. I would always be there for her. I made that commitment to Mark.

This is a long story, because to this day, Olya has become family to our family. We have built a very close friendship over the last couple of years. It will be three years this August Mark has been gone. I drive through that intersection multiple times per week, and I always think about the commitment I made to Olya and Mark to be there 

for her. Many times I will pull my car over and just send her a quick message and let her know I am thinking about her. Love is the best gift you can give anyone. I feel like Mark gave me a second lease on life that day. I started to look at my life so differently after that day — the things in life that really matter and the things that just don’t matter anymore. 

I started to really think about my mental health and how Robert had made me feel through his abusive words and attacks and had pushed me to the point I was going to take my life. I made the decision that I would never let another human being push me to that place ever again. I know my heart. I know who I am, and most importantly – I know who I am in Christ. I know what the Word of God says about me, and I believe it. I am more than enough, and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

It was just a couple weeks ago that Olya lost her Mom. She has had such an unfair last couple of years. It has been a hard climb for her, but I love her, and our family will always be here for her. My wife Amy makes a mean Roast Beef dinner, and it’s become one of Olya’s favorites. It’s so easy in life to say “I Love You” to someone, but do you really mean it? Love is a verb. I have had so many people over the years tell me how much they love me, but when life gets challenging, they just turn the other way. In many cases they go out of their way to bring hurt and pain. Have you ever experienced this? It’s sad – but it’s all around us. Loyalty is very rare. If you find true Lovers in life, keep them. They are a rare breed. Olya is one of my biggest fans. She checks in on me all the time and encourages me. We are cheering each other on in life. We need more people like this in our lives. Olya also knows this comeback story all too well, and we share in our own versions of hell we have had to live through the last few years in rebuilding our lives. 

As I continue to rebuild my life and walk through this comeback story, the real calling and my why keeps changing, but for the better. You see, this comeback story for me was to prove my haters wrong. I felt like I had to get this Big Win and show everyone who has ever doubted or attacked me that I could find success again. People who have called me names like a Fraud, Fraudster, Con-Artist, Liar, Thief, Criminal. Words hurt. Words cut deep. Especially when people think it’s funny and make it a joke. 

Yes, I am guilty of wanting a Huge Comeback story so I can flip my middle finger to those haters and say Fuck You! But for what? For Who? They don’t actually care, and they will never care about my family and I. So I just put my head down and work for the real Lovers in my life. The ones who truly deserve this comeback story – my beautiful wife Amy, my incredible daughters Thalia and Abigail, my Parents, my Best Friends Tim and Steve, Melvin, Olya, Brad, Abe, and many more that have always had my back and continue to be loyal to this day. 

Thank you for loving me through the Ups and the Downs. I love you all so much!  

So here I am today right smack in the middle of my Comeback Story. It isn’t over yet. The reality is, there is no finish line in life. We just keep writing chapters. This lie we tell ourselves over and over again how we have to make it to a certain level before we can do good work, tell our story, help others, it’s all bullshit. We all have a story to tell. We are all writing different chapters with our lives. Someone is out there waiting for you to tell your story, so they don’t feel alone in this life. As my business coach Abe Brown told me one afternoon, it’s selfish for us to now share our story. Someone is waiting for us to come out and be real. You might just be that one story that sets someone free. You might be that one story that holds someone back from jumping off the bridge and taking their life.

So please write your story. Stop waiting for the perfect time. Go write your Comeback Story. I’m writing mine. 

I will be your biggest fan!

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STARTUP KING get my book

An intimate story through the journey of an entrepreneurs life. The dreams, the broken dreams, depression, a new dream, and the legacy project.

Jeremy Crawford, Serial Entrepreneur and Founder of No Bull Biz, tells all in his very real and raw startup story. He opens up about his Mental Health challenges with Anxiety and Depression, and how the thoughts of Suicide almost pushed him over the edge of a high-level bridge in Canada.

STARTUP KING is written and published by Jeremy Crawford and the No Bull Biz Group. © Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved.

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